Gone on the 4th of July
by lilviorX
Summary: Eddy's missing. It's going to be a long summer. Edd's diary. This is not a happy story. One naughty word, unpleasant theme.


Disclaimer: Just like any other fanfic writing student, I own nothing of any value, especially not the characters depicted in this story. I'm not making any money from this either – I need to go out and get a real job.

Feedback: Please leave feedback, if I don't get any opinions on the direction of a story then it's really hard to continue it. Please no flames; this is a really sensitive issue.

A/N: This is based on a true story; one of my sister's friends was abducted and murdered a few years back, and although I didn't get on with my sister, it was still really gut-wrenching to listen to her crying herself to sleep for weeks on end.

The people who abduct and/or kill children should be tortured and killed themselves.

July 3rd.

Today was a glorious day, the sun shone down, uninterrupted by clouds, from seven o'clock this morning until nine-thirty. All the children in the cul-de-sac were out playing today. Even Kevin was in a good mood! Eddy's been trying to come up with money making schemes all day; his pocket money has been stopped – again. But he claims that he knows where we can get a huge bag of jaw-breakers from. As usual, I am sceptical about his plan, after all, there's no such thing as a free lunch, or jaw-breaker in this case.

July 4th.

Eddy went to collect the jaw-breakers at midday, and he hasn't been back. Maybe he was successful and simply does not wish to share his bounty? It's nine o'clock now, mother called me in for my bath, but I am worried that Eddy does not appear to have returned. I will certainly be scolding him tomorrow for his lack of consideration in not informing us of when he would be back.

July 5th.

Police sirens woke me this morning. I could see police cars congregated outside Eddy's house. When I asked mother what was going on, she told me that Eddy hadn't come home last night.

The police came round to ask me questions. They asked when I'd last seen Eddy, and to describe what he'd been wearing. I told them that I had seen him just after lunch, and that he had been wearing a yellow t-shirt and black pants. They wrote it all down very stoically. I had to ask what they thought had happened to him, they told me 'not to worry, son' and that they were sure he'd turn up.

After the police left I read the newspaper. Three other boys in our area had vanished over the last month.

I went outside to see Ed; he was sat morosely on the curb outside Eddy's house. The other children were out, but no one seemed to be enjoying today's glorious weather. Everyone seemed lost in thought.

July 6th.

They still haven't found him. I'm starting to feel a little bit sick every time I think about it. Mother keeps telling me that Eddy will turn up. But she doesn't know him like I do; Eddy would never run away. He would have told Ed and I if something had happened at home. He would have told us if he was going anywhere.

Also Ed has remembered something. He told the police that Eddy was going to get jaw-breakers from the 'blue car man'. He could describe neither the car nor the man, save to say that the car was blue.

I strain my memory even now to try and recollect a blue car in the cul-de-sac, but a blue car is not really something that would grab one's attention.

July 7th.

They found a boy's body today. Eddy's mother came round my house and sat with my mother, they both cried for an hour or two.

Eventually the police came back and told us that it wasn't Eddy's body, I was so relieved that I threw up.

Ed came round later in the day and we both sat on my bed, he hugged me while I cried. I still don't think Ed understands, he keeps asking me when the 'blue car man' will bring Eddy back.

When Ed had to leave at around ten-thirty, I begged him to stay over, but apparently his mother wanted him home. I don't blame her.

July 8th.

The police came back today; they asked if I remembered anything new. I feel guilty that I can't give them any new information.

I would give everything I own for Eddy to come strolling around the corner of the cul-de-sac right now.

July 9th.

The police have left the cul-de-sac. Their cars are all gone. The newspapers say that another body has been found, again it isn't Eddy's. Some poor eleven year-old called Sean Drayton. They said he was murdered.

July 10th.

Today it finally occurred to me that I am never going to see Eddy ever again. Ed came round to hold me again. I cried for hours, and this time he cried too, he said that the 'blue car man' was bad and asked me if he was going to bring Eddy back.

I told him no, I didn't think that the 'blue car man' was going to bring Eddy back. Ed said he really wanted to see Eddy again because he couldn't quite remember what he looked like. This made me cry more.

Ed's mother had given him permission to stay over at my house tonight. He's brushing his teeth now. Normally when we have sleep-overs, we all stay at Eddy's house. I can hear Ed crying in the bathroom.

July 11th.

Last night I cried myself to sleep, Ed slept in my bed with me, he tried to stop me crying, but in the end he just held me while I exhausted myself. We went outside this morning; some of the other children were playing in the street. Sarah, Jimmy and Johnny had been kept indoors, their parents obviously feeling some well-justified paranoia. Naz and Kevin came over and offered to hang out with us, but neither Ed nor myself felt up to being around other people. Naz gave us both a hug and started crying; Kevin looked at us with sympathy, then put his arm around Naz's shoulders and walked her back to her house.

Rolph offered to make us a special stew by way of a condolence, but we politely declined. Ed told me that he was starting to feel sick and wanted to go home. So we parted there, and I went home.

July 12th.

Last night I had a dream that I saw the blue car parked outside Ed's house. When I ran into the house, he wasn't there. And then police were asking me what Ed was wearing the last time I saw him, but all I could say was 'blue car man, blue car man' over and over again.

When I woke up the sheets were wet. At first I thought it must have been sweat, but the smell told me that for the first time in seven years I'd wet the bed.

Mother keeps telling me that I 'must eat'. I didn't understand at first what was so important about eating, but then I realised I hadn't eaten in over twenty-four hours. I felt dizzy, but didn't want to eat. I wanted to go back to bed and stay there until… I don't know.

July 13th.

There's still no news. It's been nine days since Eddy went missing. Ed came round today; he asked if I thought Eddy was dead. I nodded silently. I've run out of tears. Ed had obviously spoken to mother, since he made me eat a sandwich while he was round. It tasted like tears.

My head always hurts now, but it doesn't really matter. I don't feel like a real person anymore, I feel more like a ghost. I float around, simply existing, feeling nothing; not the warmth of the sun through my window, not the water on my skin in the shower, not the basic human emotions of love or anger or even sadness.

July 14th.

Today I woke up in the hospital. Mother can't even look me in the eye. They found me in my room, semi-conscious, chanting 'blue car man' over and over.

I don't remember any of it.

They said that I was dehydrated and under-nourished and suffering from over-exhaustion, I'd had a seizure; probably brought on by emotional trauma.

They let me go home, but they are making me take medication for stress. I think it's diazepam.

July 15th.

I'm not taking the tablets; I need to start getting back to normal. I tidied my bedroom today, ate a full meal and had a nice hot bath.

I feel much better.

July 16th.

They found him today.

He was murdered.

July 17th.

Eddy had been kidnapped by what now turns out to be a serial child-murderer. He was killed only a few days ago. I wasn't sure if I wanted to now what had happened to him between the time he went missing and the time he was killed.

I was sat on the sofa next to Ed as it was explained to us and our families that Eddy had been the victim of a serial paedophile. I saw Ed's mouth open and I knew he was going to ask what a paedophile was. I told him to shush. The woman, who was explaining all this to us, looked at our parents as if for permission to tell us what Eddy's last few days of life had been like.

I didn't want to know.

July 18th.

The actual cause of death had been asphyxiation by strangulation. I just couldn't imagine Eddy being strangled. They've set the date for the funeral; July 21st, apparently it will be a closed-casket affair due to the injuries on Eddy's face and body.

I signed a condolence-card for Eddy's parents, mother asked if I wanted to go with her to give it to them, but I don't think I could stand to be in Eddy's house just yet.

July 19th.

Mother dragged me out of the house today to go to the convenience store. The sun is getting hotter, and I'm reminded that it's summer. It is going to be the longest summer of my life. Without Eddy, Ed and I don't know how to have fun. Eddy was our protagonist. Mother stopped to talk to people at the store; they all asked me how I was holding up. I always answered politely; 'fine'. I wonder if any of them would be 'fine' if their best friend was murdered.

For god's sake, who kills a fucking twelve year old?

I can't help being angry, and I think I have every right to be.

July 20th.

Mother had to take me into town to buy a suit.

She said I looked 'so smart', then started crying. Eddy would be wearing a suit to his funeral as well, except he probably wouldn't look quite so smart. Eddy's parents would be buying a suit for him without getting him to try it on.

We bought a simple black suit, white shirt and black tie. Mother said I could wear my school shoes with it.

July 21st.

Everyone from the cul-de-sac was there, as well as some kids and teachers from his school, and his family.

I sat next to Ed on the second row. Mother made me take my hat off. Ed reminded me that Eddy used to call me sock-head.

The service was like most church services; idealistic and somewhat patronising. According to the religious leader at the alter; Eddy had been a hard-working boy, a well-behaved boy, and an all-round pinnacle of society. I smiled thinking what Eddy would think of that description. He'd probably love it.

As we left at the end, I saw the Kanker sisters crying. Sarah and Jimmy were crying over each other's shoulders. Naz was sat with her parents, tears streaming down her pretty face. Kevin's lower lip appeared to be trembling.

I held a brave face until Ed took hold of my hand and said 'you can put your sock back on now, sock-head'.

End.

A/N: Sorry if that was really depressing and a little out of character. I don't know what their ages are supposed to be, so I guessed twelve. Unfortunately they don't catch his murderer, 'cause that's what happens in real life. Please no flames on this one because it's a really sensitive issue.


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